Local Guide

A Guide to Meet Your Indonesian Date’s Parents

Hello FlokqJune 11, 2020

Meeting your date’s parents is a huge step in your relationship. This means that both of you are ready to take things to another level. Although this might be an exciting meeting, some may be nervous or even scared about it. It’s normal to feel pressure as you’re meeting your date’s parents for the first time. You’ll probably want to show them that you’re a good person and that you’re the right choice for their child. Giving your date’s parents a great first impression will help you with your cause. But sometimes, a lot of people tend to get nervous around their date’s parents and blow up their chance. You might feel a little bit worried that you might screw it up, but don’t worry about it. We have made a guide for you in meeting your date’s parents. 

Relax and enjoy the moment

When meeting your date’s parents, be sure to be relaxed and not be too tense. This will make you seem more approachable and likable by them. If you act all stiff and tense, they might feel uncomfortable and might think they’re making you uncomfortable as well. Don’t be afraid of them and think of them as a normal person you’d usually meet. Talk to them in a relaxed yet respectable manner so they don’t feel awkward. Be sure to be enthusiastic about meeting them or your date might think that you are unhappy with meeting them. Be sure to be open about your life but don’t dive too deep into it. Enjoy the moment with them as they might be your future in-laws.

Engage in the conversation

When all of you are conversing with each other, be sure that you are engaged in the conversion. Lead the conversation by asking them about themselves or open up about yourself. Indonesian people like to share so don’t be afraid. Be genuinely interested in their stories so that they can see that you’re a well-mannered person. Talk about sensitive topics that are not too over the line but are still personal. This will make all of you to bond together during a short time. Make sure that you listen carefully to all of the things that they have to say. Don’t be shy to keep the conversation going because if you don’t, you might have an awkward silence. You can talk about things such as how you meet your date or how your life has been going. Keep it low-key though as it is your first meeting with them. 

Cut the tension

If you think that you are the only one who is nervous, think again because that is not true. Your date and their parents are also nervous as it is also their first meeting together with you. All you need to do is cut the tension and make an inviting presence. You can break the ice by cracking up a few inside jokes that all of you might understand. Don’t show them your nervousness as it can make them nervous as well. Don’t forget to cheer your partner up as they are having great pressure because you are meeting their parents. Be sure to be relaxed but not care-free so you don’t’ get stiff and make them feel tense. It may take some time until they warm up to you and accept you as part of the family. So until then, just take it all slow and keep on making them happy. 

Be there for your partner

A parent’s has to embarrass their children in front of their colleagues, and this includes you, their partner. Your date’s parents might tell you an embarrassing story about your date to break the ice. It might make your date uncomfortable but make sure you’re there for her. Cheer her up by comforting her about it and saying that you don’t care about all the stories. Tell them that their parents meant no harm and is probably very nervous. Most Indonesian families like to be a little bit nosy sometimes, so try not to share personal information with them. Respect your partner’s and your relationship’s privacy at all times. Try to deflect all of their attempts to learn private information about your relationship with your partner.

Bring them a meeting gift

Bringing them a gift during your first meeting is a great ice breaker. You don’t need to buy them anything fancy or expensive to make them appreciate it. You can buy them a cake or flowers just to show that you care for them and you appreciate them. In Indonesia, it is common for people who are meeting for the first time to give out gifts. So this is the thing to do when you’re about to meet up. Think about what are you going to buy to make sure that you don’t but it at the last minute. Make sure to consult your partner about what things you should buy and what things you should avoid. You can also make something for them like baking them a cake. As long as it comes from the heart, they’ll see it. 

Take the bill

A lot of Indonesian people won’t acknowledge this, but they are very proud of themselves. They will all tough but are very soft inside. This reflects on the way on how they pay their food bill. Most people would offer to pay for the bill even though they don’t want to. This is where you come in. Offer them to pay the bill so you can show that you have a nice heart. This will also show them that you can provide their child financially. If they still refuse, make sure to tell them that you’ll pay the next time you meet. This will make them respect you even more.

So this is the guide to meet your Indonesian date’s parents. We hope this list can help you when you meet them in the future.